5 Model Kits I Want That Will Never Exist

I’ve only recently been reintroduced to plastic modeling; before the recent wave of kits that I’ve been working on, it’s been almost 15 years since my last X-acto knife injury or accidental glue euphoria. But despite not actively working on anything in that time, the interest has stayed with me. I’m kinda like a nerd sleeper agent in that way.

The nice thing about coming back to the hobby after so long is that the quality of the kits has really improved across the board. There must have been huge strides in injection molding since 1995 or something*. Anyway, along with the technological advances has come a lot of cool kits, and I’ve been lucky enough to grab up some of my faves. But there are some gaps in my kit lust that can never be filled. My full wish list is longer, but here are the top 5:

#5: UN VTOL Aircraft from NGE

Update: This now exists! Sort of. This is the version from Rebuild, so it’s a little different, but I’m still satisfied. As an aside, I think the older design is actually more believable.

Also as an aside, HOLY @#$% RIVET MUCH?

This cool Osprey-like aircraft appears prominently in the first episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, and once again in the Death/Rebirth and End of Evangelion movies. It’s kinda like an upside-down Hind with jets instead of rotors, except that’s not what it looks like at all. I may as well tell you it’s a cross between a Pontiac Aztek and a leprechaun.

But description-defying aside, it’s got a great, believable design while still appearing firmly entrenched in science fiction.

Why it won’t ever exist: The Evangelion series is pretty long in the tooth now by anime standards (it’s even been rebooted), with many different types of merchandise, and I’m not sure there’s any demand for a kit of a 3rd or 4th tier support aircraft that appears on screen for 45 seconds, especially if no one has made one by now. But please, Bandai or Hasegawa, prove me wrong.

#4 El Dorado Ultimate (Gun X Sword)

I may have mentioned it before, but I love Gun X Sword. I think it’s a great little show, and I have hardly any nitpicks with it. It’s got a nice blend of drama, comedy, and action, and the animation quality is very consistent across the episodes. Also, it has giant robots in it, and they call them “armors”, which is very cool.

The El Dorado is an homage to both super-sentai and super robot shows, and it’s quite adorable. And, uh, all tough and crap! Boobs! Explosions! Yeah. Manliness.

Anyway, I really dig the chunkiness of the contours. Not in small part because I had several Godaikin robots growing up, and the El Dorado is reminiscent of the Dancougar and GoLion/Voltron designs. My love for mecha started with the 1970s robot-design aesthetic, and I’ve never let it get too far out of my system.

Why it won’t ever exist: There isn’t a lot of merchandise for this show for some reason, save a couple statues of Carmen 99 and a fairly expensive Dann toy. I’m guessing it just isn’t as popular as some other series. If they haven’t made a kit of Dann, the main armor in the show (they haven’t), they’re not going to make a kit of the El Dorado. Frowny face.

#3 G.Kaiser/Kikaioh (Tech Romancer)

I only got into Tech Romancer 10 years after it came out on the Dreamcast, but it is awesome. Turns out it’s one of my favorite titles on a system with a fantastic game library. Even if it was absolute crap, however, it is stuffed to the brim with awesome robot designs. This part is not a surprise: the mechanical designs were handled by Studio Nue, the same people responsible for the entire Macross series, and employer of Shoji Kawamori.

Also not  a surprise: my favorite is the one that looks like a super robot from the 70s.

I know this list is specifically about plastic model kits, but this is the one item in the list that I would want even if it was a completed figure. Having G.Kaiser appear in the Soul of Chogokin line of toys by Bandai would totally satisfy me. You can see more shots of the Soul of Chogokin toy line here at CollectionDX.

To be fair, there may be a kit related to this mecha, but I’m not sure if it actually exists, and, frankly, it sucks. This may warrant a list of the Top 5 Model Kits I Want to See Remade Because the Available One is Total Crap. But I digress.

Why it won’t ever exist: Well, outside of the little loophole above, it’s a design from an out-of-print game that didn’t spawn any sequels on a discontinued system, and I’m just not sure who else is clamoring for this to be realized in sweet, sweet plastic.

#2 Any Mecha from Gunbuster 2/Diebuster

There does exist a Revoltech figure of Dix Neuf, my favorite mecha from this series, but that doesn’t count, no matter how cool it is. And though I would like to see someone make a nice injection kit of Dix Neuf, I am actually okay with ANY mecha from this series being produced in plastic form.

As an aside, if you haven’t watched this show, you need to pick it up. It’s even on Netflix if you’re not willing to commit to a full purchase. The animation is fantastic, and the overall production design is jaw-dropping.

Oh, and the story is enjoyable too, but pshh…story. Look at the robots!

Why it won’t ever exist: There is no good reason why not. Maybe I’ll actually luck out on this one.

#1 The ship from Galaga

I don’t think it even has a name. I think it’s called “the ship from Galaga“. This little sprite is probably my favorite spaceship design in the universe. I don’t have anything else to say, really. I like it, and I want it.

Recently, another favorite spaceship of mine from an old game was realized in plastic, the Silpheed, so this may not be as far-fetched as I seem to think it is.

Why it won’t ever exist: I think the main problem is that it’s two-dimensional, and it’s probably 20 pixels wide. Any sculptor trying to tackle this would have to take some major liberties just to get it thicker than a cookie. And, of course, there is the constant threat that someone will eat it before you get to that point. Either way, it’s probably not gonna happen.

Great. And now not only do I lament not being able to get these kits, but I also want a cookie.

^{*And now I have a topic for my next blog entry: The Top 10 Least Interesting Things I’ve Ever Said.}